Wasting Time

So it is 4:00 and I have done nothing really constructive all day. I have looked at a couple of jobs...waiting on more information...and have not done the ones that I have. Or started my final paper for History and Theories of the Book. I have to somehow generate twenty pages of "journal worthy" verbiage over something that, after sixteen weeks, I clearly still do not understand. Nor do I care. It's just another collegiate hoop for me to jump through to get another piece of paper that says I did something. That something is, for the most part, wasted quite a bit of money. So the semester is almost over. Yesterday was the last "official" class meeting before exams/papers, and tomorrow is the last "official" class meeting for the classes I am teaching. Then I'm off to writing papers and grading papers, while trying to summon the will to work on stuff from the office, as well. I am completely burned out, and now everyone wants more...take this exam over the summer, take that series of exams...I took the fucking Bar exam, I am taking class exams, and I am TIRED of taking exams. I am tired of having a job that I hate, while trying to work my ass off to do a job I would enjoy, and in the meantime, being almost stalked by someone who wants to interview me for a job that would require a severe cut in both salary AND free time...yet I feel compelled to interview for it "just in case." Just in case what? In case I decide to totally screw myself for the sake of stability? And is it good to have stability if that stability means a stable MUCH LOWER income and at least twice my current hours--which means, generally, no flexibility to work adjunct (more money lost) or go to school? So much for the old college education. I have three degrees and I'm still not qualified to do anything. (Well, except law...and who wants to do THAT???)