Things You See in a Chinese Restaurant
LT and I went to our local Chinese inferior food establishment (actually THIS one is tolerable as Chinese restaurants go) on Friday after work. We were supposed to meet there, but LT got caught in traffic, so I went in ahead of him to secure a table and order drinks. Since I usually go in WITH him, I guess I don't pay that much attention to all of the weird stuff around me, but this time I had a few minutes to sit and "watch" the people in this place. Of course the place has the requisite "standard issue" HUGE plastic diorama of the Great Wall of China, which is approximately 6' wide by 4' high and backlit. I think you have to have at least one to meet code for a Chinese restaurant, because they ALL seem to have one. And then the calendar advertising something that we, the majority of the consumers, cannot read (but which probably says "you are fools for eating here...enjoy your dog"). But it was the people who really stood out this time around.
The hostess (if you can call her that) was wearing a black dress-sort-of-thing that appeared to have a V-back. Until you looked at it and realized it was a zippered back that was unzipped to form the V. As in, you could zip it all the way up to the chick's head! Weird. I resisted the temptation. Seated at the table opposite me was a trio of middle-aged-to-older people. Not all that unusual, right? There was a man and two women. The man was sporting a pair of graying porkchop sideburns (amusing, but not that odd), but aside from that he seemed fairly normal. However, the woman seated next to him had her head shaved short (like a crew cut) on the sides and a mohawk/flattish sort of top...dyed a whitish blonde. The other woman had almost shoulder length hair in a flat bob-type cut and a horrible shade of blonde that looked very unnatural. And a bandaid plastered across her nose with cotton or something underneath one side which gave the appearance that it was coming off and she just had not noticed. At the table behind them, there were four people who were fairly plain, except that I spotted one woman crossing herself (in the manner of a Catholic) before eating her $7.99 buffet glop. Haven't seen that in a while! The remainder of the meal proceeded in the normal fashion, followed by LT and I popping across the way to pick up some stuff from the shopping center. We took his car. In one of the stores we ran into a couple (who I forgot to mention before) from the Chinese restaurant. They were an average trailer-ish couple with a small child, only the woman was...well...a plus size and well endowed, wearing a tight pink tank top and NO BRA. She was literally hanging out of the sides of this thing in a way that I don't think I needed to see. But moving on...
So LT took me back to the restaurant to pick up my car after our shopping excursion, and an older couple (that we had not seen inside) walks out into the parking lot. I have to wait for them to cross behind me before I back out, and it is windy...and then I notice the woman's almost shoulder-length gray hair go FLYING up, revealing a completely bald head except for the very top. Now, the wind blew it up several times, and I was mesmerized by this happening, so I kept watching to see...was it a wig? Was it the female version of the comb-over? Was it some sort of really long toupee? A wig tends to have a net attachment that surrounds the head, but this stuff was really ON FAST at the top and the rest of the head was completely smooth, so I am guessing it is real hair at the top that has been grown out to cover the sides. Now, maybe she's on some senior swim team and this helps her glide through the water faster. Or maybe I should NOT drink the water in this part of the country...
The hostess (if you can call her that) was wearing a black dress-sort-of-thing that appeared to have a V-back. Until you looked at it and realized it was a zippered back that was unzipped to form the V. As in, you could zip it all the way up to the chick's head! Weird. I resisted the temptation. Seated at the table opposite me was a trio of middle-aged-to-older people. Not all that unusual, right? There was a man and two women. The man was sporting a pair of graying porkchop sideburns (amusing, but not that odd), but aside from that he seemed fairly normal. However, the woman seated next to him had her head shaved short (like a crew cut) on the sides and a mohawk/flattish sort of top...dyed a whitish blonde. The other woman had almost shoulder length hair in a flat bob-type cut and a horrible shade of blonde that looked very unnatural. And a bandaid plastered across her nose with cotton or something underneath one side which gave the appearance that it was coming off and she just had not noticed. At the table behind them, there were four people who were fairly plain, except that I spotted one woman crossing herself (in the manner of a Catholic) before eating her $7.99 buffet glop. Haven't seen that in a while! The remainder of the meal proceeded in the normal fashion, followed by LT and I popping across the way to pick up some stuff from the shopping center. We took his car. In one of the stores we ran into a couple (who I forgot to mention before) from the Chinese restaurant. They were an average trailer-ish couple with a small child, only the woman was...well...a plus size and well endowed, wearing a tight pink tank top and NO BRA. She was literally hanging out of the sides of this thing in a way that I don't think I needed to see. But moving on...
So LT took me back to the restaurant to pick up my car after our shopping excursion, and an older couple (that we had not seen inside) walks out into the parking lot. I have to wait for them to cross behind me before I back out, and it is windy...and then I notice the woman's almost shoulder-length gray hair go FLYING up, revealing a completely bald head except for the very top. Now, the wind blew it up several times, and I was mesmerized by this happening, so I kept watching to see...was it a wig? Was it the female version of the comb-over? Was it some sort of really long toupee? A wig tends to have a net attachment that surrounds the head, but this stuff was really ON FAST at the top and the rest of the head was completely smooth, so I am guessing it is real hair at the top that has been grown out to cover the sides. Now, maybe she's on some senior swim team and this helps her glide through the water faster. Or maybe I should NOT drink the water in this part of the country...
posted by ET at 9:42 PM
3 Comments:
I'm curious as to which breastaurant (after all, you did see some boobage) this is.
And I would have pegged you down as being anti-buffet. Or is that just me? The idea of a buffet grosses me out. I figure that every piece of food has been fingered and licked by a small child. And for $7.99? I can get a better meal at a sit-down restaurant.
Ruffian, I simply ADORE a mind in the gutter! But I think this "show" might have put you off your food.
Rachel, well it's not MY idea. LT loves to eat there, and he has to have his Chinese "food" fix at least weekly. (You know, the "marriage is all about compromise" bit...I go Chinese buffet-ing with him, he lets me have half the closet for bags.) Also, there are basically three restaurants here close to us, unless you want to count Sonic and the little "storefront" rooms that open up, call themselves a restaurant, and charge $12.99 for a bowl of pasta that is clearly made with a sauce you can buy at Albertsons. Pass. We are supposed to get some real restaurantage here in the fall.
There was another place that he used to like to go, in a terrible neighborhood in Tulsa with equally terrible food. I went maybe three times, but the last time there was a little boy who went up to one of those ice cream (and I use the term loosely) machines and stuck his mouth on it. That was the end of that place for me. GROSS!
Okay...that is totally scary! But thanks for the heads up. I know that the water company sent a notice about water not passing some standard test one time, so we only drink purified water (and the person who runs the Southern Agriculture pet supply store in Owasso told me that the water has caused kidney problems in animals, as well, so they drink purified, too.) At least we don't live close to the lovely chicken farms that are causing such an uproar.
Lady Godiva, where do you live now?
Post a Comment
<< Home